With Abigail Cool
November 14th, 2020: 1:00-3:00 CST
Providing healing resources, support, and hope for victims of domestic violence in the church and Prevention Education-Training for those who shepherd the flock.
“Many Christians cannot bear to acknowledge that spousal abuse is an enduring problem within our very own walls. Both individually and as a faith community, we are ashamed and humiliated to admit the presence of such a problem. It is far easier to deny, to minimize, and to conceal…It’s time to stop sweeping spousal abuse under the carpet.” (Catherine Clark Kroeger, Peace and Safety in the Christian Home, 2008).
One Shepherd’s Call to Shepherds of All Faiths to Stand Up for Healing and Justice: by Ken Chitwood
One time, I wrote a letter a letter to Pope Francis. I know…ridiculous.
What wasn’t ridiculous was the message I wrote to him: that before he goes off to save the climate and solve the refugee crisis and bring peace to the Middle East, he first needs to take care of priority number one—addressing sexual abuse in his church.
The Catholic Church has gotten the bad rap of being the sole proprietor of sexual abuse within religious institutions. But, as James Nolan wrote for VICE a couple years ago, “Modern history has been riddled with revelations of religious child abuse.” From New Religious Movements to Buddhists, Muslim madrassas to Mormon schools, Hindu gurus to Methodist ministers, RLDS/Restoration/Community of Christ, American Orthodox Jews, seems that religion has a serious, systemic, abuse problem.
Indeed, sexual abuse has plagued humanity for centuries. Even the Hebrew Scriptures contain tragic stories of abuse, rape, and incest. One of the historical books of these Scriptures relates how Amnon, the son of the famed King David, attempted to force himself on his half-sister, Tamar (2 Samuel 13:11-20).
There are still, today, plenty of Tamars. Too often, religious leaders play the part of Amnon when they are called to look after the vulnerable, especially children (Psalm 127:3; Ephesians 6:4; James 1:27).
As a member of the clergy, let me first tell you: if you are one of the abused, been impacted by this abuse, or you’ve been turned off of religion because of this hypocrisy, I am so, horribly, sorry.
This should go without saying, but abuse has no place in the sanctuary of a church or any other place supposed to provide love, safety, and justice to all regardless of age, gender, or position in life.
I hope that healing has come to your life and that you have not been been forced to continually carry a burden of abuse. But I know that some of you still live in the desolate conditions of someone like Tamar.
For you, there is the promise of Isaiah 61, which speaks to how God will deliver the oppressed, mend the brokenhearted, set free the captives, and comfort those who mourn. It is my prayer that these promises would all come true for you as you are supported by professionals, family, friends, and even the church as you lead a healthy, fulfilled life—physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Indeed, I hope that religious institutions do not continue to let you down. St. Francis of Assisi, the Pope’s namesake, once said that where there is injury, we should sow pardon. In this case, we must be clear that victims of abuse are not in the least bit responsible or at fault for the harm done to them.
In that vein, religious leaders and organizations must go beyond apologies and take appropriate action to hold accountable those who have abused their power and to prevent that type of abuse in the future.
The pardon sowed in the case of these injuries should not be for the abusers. They must be prosecuted and punished accordingly. Further, churches need to take the issue of abuse as a loud and clear call for reform and to no longer protect the abusers, but admonish them, provide support for the abused, and protect future generations from having to suffer similar mistreatment at the hands of ministers and leadership figures.
Our religious institutions must be remade into places of love, justice, and safety for people of all ages, genders, and dispositions.
This type of reform will not happen overnight. It will take years to make any form of reparation, rid religion of sexual indecency (or at least make the attempt), and bring transparency to religious leadership, which is too often clouded in secrecy and power.
So too, for people who have been abused, there is no quick fix. I wish I could say there was. However, as the promise from Isaiah makes clear, in Jesus there is hope and healing, liberation and justice. I can only pray that the reality of those promises are evident in your life in the days, weeks, and years to come.
Until then, religious leaders like me have work to do—to interrupt the injustices being perpetrated by our very own leaders on our very own people.
If you are experiencing abuse or sexual abuse contact:
MCADSV is not a 24-hour service provider and does not provide crisis services. For immediate help in Missouri, CLICK HERE or call the National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 or the National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673. For the Deaf Crisis Line videophone call 321-800-3323 or text HAND to 839863.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224 for confidential support.
To find a domestic shelter in your area: Domestic Shelters.org
Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org for more information.